On my journey to discover Self Love, I first had to discover the true meaning of self-care beyond the trendy posts on social media. While indulging in a warm bath with a lavender scent and applying a honey and oatmeal face mask brings me immense joy and is an integral part of my self-care routine, there are numerous other aspects to consider. I will share a few activities that helped me throughout my journey that cover ALL areas of our well-being… MIND, BODY & SOUL
SELF-CARE + MIND
It is good to make sure you have a reduced-stress life. Things that can put your mind at ease are being organized, having a strategic plan for yourself, and finding what is the root cause of your stressors. The ability to organize your daily life can be very calming. Simple practices such as making use of your calendar and/or planner can provide the structure your mind craves. Having a plan of action for your life’s goals can be very empowering. Researching and strategizing how to achieve your health, career, financial, and/or personal goals can leave a person with a rewarding feeling. If you need that extra push to get you where you want to be, consider hiring a coach who can guide you in achieving these goals. Also, once you realize the root cause of your stressors, you can always seek the assistance of those who specialize in finding that solution for you. For instance, if you are having issues with depression, anxiety, or substance use, you may want to get the professional help of a licensed therapist or psychiatrist. If you’re struggling with your finances, it may be crucial for you to get the assistance of a financial planner or accountant. If you prefer to work alone, listening to popular podcasts and/or reading books or blogs about your topic of interest can be very insightful and a great resource for your personal development.
Here are some examples of how I practice self-care for my mind.
Meditation: Think of meditations as recovery sessions for your mind. If you are anything like me, you have 1000 tabs open that need to be closed! Just as you need to unwind and sleep at the end of a long day to recharge, meditation can do the same for your mental state. If meditating is new to you, I recommend guided meditation. YouTube has a ton, and I highly recommend downloading Headspace or Calm.
Breathing exercises: Our brains only make up about 2% of the body, but they use around 20% of the oxygen in our blood supply daily! Breathing is one of the simplest and quickest ways to get you in a better headspace. Even 1 minute for a guided breathing exercise can help. When I was at my lowest point in life, I took a trip to Sedona in hopes of doing some serious soul-searching. I attended a 3-day retreat, and one of my classes was a breathing exercise; It was my first time experiencing a body high…. a high like NO OTHER!
Journaling: At the end of each week, no matter what you’ve been through, write down 1–3 things you are grateful for and why. Start with once a week, and work your way to multiple times a week. The benefits are profound. I free-write & also use journal prompts to help when I can’t get out of my head. I also encourage you to put your phone on DND and allow yourself this time.
Set Your Intentions: Make a plan to have a positive mindset and reach your goals by working on your intentions daily, weekly, monthly, or yearly. Many studies have shown that when you write down your intentions, dreams, and goals, you’re more likely to work toward them. Setting intentions also gets you in the right frame of mind to take positive steps for yourself. I started picking a word of intent for the year and, throughout the year, setting goals aligned with that word. For example, for 2023, my word is EVOLVE. My goals in all aspects of my life push me out of my comfort zone to evolve into the next version of myself… This blog is included!
Clean Your Living Spaces: Clutter causes stress! If my personal space is a mess, it causes my mood to be off and my anxiety to be on 100! It may be time to clean your home, declutter, and make a peaceful place for yourself to relax. A clean home opens your mind, relaxes you, and makes you feel better.
Read a book: Reading is good for the mind, and reading something, either educational or uplifting, can be a form of self-care. You can squeeze ten reading pages OR ten minutes in the morning or at night to start or end your day. I alternate what I read. So I will read a self-help book and then a fiction book. (I love me a ratchet hood story, it’s one of my guilty pleasures)
SELF CARE + BODY
Taking care of your body addresses some of the most basic human needs. When you start to skip meals, neglect your sleep, or pick up unhealthy habits, it can affect you in many ways.
Maintaining your physical well-being on a daily basis has immediate and long-term benefits. You’ll prevent many health issues and have a good foundation to care for yourself in other ways.
Take a break: This is easier said than done for many of us. You may feel too overwhelmed to take a break, whether it’s work/life balance, family drama, school stress, or other demands consuming your time and energy. But the mental health benefits of hitting pause far outweigh anything you think you might miss out on or fall behind on by taking a short break.
Trust me; you’ll feel refreshed and even more productive if you take a few minutes to yourself before diving back in.
Exercise: It might be the last thing you want to do when feeling overly stressed, but experts agree that exercise is one of the most potent ways to boost your mental health. Certain forms of exercise are beneficial for releasing built-up tension and anxiety. I am still learning what works for me regarding exercising and trusting the process here.
I practice yoga regularly, and it embraces the mind-body connection fully. Also, long walks always put ease into my mind. Commit to having no distractions. Be present. Take in everything you see, smell, and hear. No phone calls, music, podcasts — just you and the world around you.
Go to bed. Blue light from devices and screens can make it harder to fall asleep, so reduce blue light exposure from your phone or computer before bedtime. Stick to a schedule, and make sure you’re getting enough sleep. Let’s retire the idea of no rest until success. Sleep is just as important as what you eat. I need at least 7 hours of sleep to be pleasant & functional.
Cook yourself a delicious meal: Cooking is an excellent form of self-care and care for others. Whether you enjoy cooking with friends, for your family, or yourself — cooking your favorite meal is a perfect way to feed your body, mind, and soul. Make the experience memorable by creating a “theme” for your weekly meal. Bonus — this also allows you to explore other cultures and their delicious foods! My Framily & I cook Sunday dinner every week, and the experience is something we look forward to.
Hydrate: Drink water & mind your business! Drinking half of your body weight in ounces of water daily is best. It really makes a difference.
SELF CARE + SOUL
Whether you are a spiritual or religious person, maintaining your faith is important for your self-care. Believing in a higher power greater than yourself can have therapeutic effects on a person. Prayer and/or meditation can put a person at ease and help set their day, month, or year in motion. As the statement goes, faith without works is dead; thus, having the guidance of your beliefs and applying action to your problems will help improve your life and self-care.
Here are some ways I take care of my soul
Talk to God: Through the good, bad & ugly, talk to God. There are no rules to how you talk to God. I always show up authentically and pray from my heart… No need to have a filter; he already knows your heart, so go ahead and share with him.
Embrace Your Inner Child: When you begin working to heal your inner child, you go back emotionally and mentally to that traumatic event. You can understand how your inner child feels from an adult’s perspective. With that, your adult self can start to untangle the survival tactics your fourteen (or four) year-old self came up with to protect you from further trauma. This was one of my most challenging tasks on this journey. Because, one, I had never heard of healing my inner child, and it sounded crazy as hell to me! Two, I was afraid of what would come up. But I promise you I needed to learn to let go and understand the reasoning behind who I am.
Practice gratitude. Remind yourself daily of the things you are grateful for. Be specific. Write them down and sit with them for a few min. Revisit them as often as needed. I do this in the morning over a cup of tea. It sets the tone for my day.
Be Still: It gives us time and space to self-reflect and hear our thoughts. We are so used to distractions. This will take some practice.
Disconnect: Let’s talk about social media. While social media can help you connect with friends and loved ones, the social comparisons and pressure to keep up can also leave you feeling drained, anxious, and depressed. I have decided that Sundays will be my day unplugged. Just for a few minutes, turn everything off. Embrace the freedom of disengaging. You might enjoy being in the moment more than being in the know.
Self-care takes practice, so start working on self-care in one area and add on as you go. Remember to eventually work up to different ways to support all three areas — mind, body, and soul. It’s a journey; give yourself all the grace that is needed! You’re on a journey to fall in love with yourself, so don’t get caught up beating yourself up about your shortcomings.
Follow this list as a guide and continue perfecting your routine until it feels suitable for you!! You can do it! Embrace your journey! Trust the process!
XO, MOE
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